Hello again,
Evan Hadkin has made a couple of comments about matters
raised on IQAdult and while I had read some of his blog "Livingauthentically.org " I put off an in depth reading because of time constraints.
I wish I hadn't. It is well worth spending time there.
There are several valuable downloads and lots of other interesting blogs are mentioned.
Here is a piece from his blog.
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"You know those arguments where you feel you have been there before? Where you feel that you can predict what is going to be said next? As if the people were following a script?

At times like this we have often slipped into a role. One of the simplest ways of looking at these roles comes from analysing stage drama. In this analysis (and there are many others) there are three basic roles: persecutor, victim and rescuer. The dramatic element is the switching around of these roles.

Here’s an example to explain what I mean. Imagine a Western. The hero (rescuer) rides in to save the fair damsel (victim) from her evil uncle (persecutor) plotting to take her farm from her. Imagine the scene where the evil uncle (now victim) is held at gunpoint by the hero (now persecutor) and the fair damsel (now rescuer) pleads for her uncle’s life. The hero is distracted by the fair damsel allowing the evil uncle (now persecutor) to gain possession of the gun and hold at gunpoint both the hero and fair damsel (now both victim). At this point for there to be more drama a rescuer needs to be introduced (cue the cavalry).

These roles can be found in pretty much any dramatic work, a detective story, a comedy, science fiction or romance, the list is virtually endless.

Often in those moments where we feel that know what is going to happen next we have slipped into these kinds of roles. The challenge is to step outside of the role and this will be the topic of my next post.

This way of analysing relationships was developed by Stephen Karpman in the early days of Transactional Analysis. The best introduction to Transactional Analysis (and the best self-therapy book I know) is Born To Win by James and Jongeward. It includes a chapter on games.

To reflect on:

• Choose a situation that you don’t like and you feel like “I’ve been here before” or “I know what is going to be said next”.

• Look for the switch.

• Ask yourself who is playing what role.

• Ask yourself what is it that I get from playing this role. (It may confirm ideas you have about yourself and others).

Once again here is Evan's edress. "Livingauthentically.org ". Do read the "About us" section at the top left.

Loads of books and studies have been compiled about role playing. It's not surprising seeing it happens in every aspect of interpersonal contact. It's in the office, at the shop, within families, among lovers and with authority figures.

Knowing what role we are playing consciously or unconsciously is an insight into our character and motives behind our actions. Knowing yourself is the key to understanding others. If you realize you are taking the victim role or persecutor: ask yourself why. What do you want, or more importantly lack?

Do you lack courage or belief in yourself so you take the victim role? Do you feel angry and emotionally deprived, so you take the agressor role? Recognizing this is the beginning of understanding the most important person in your life - you.
If you are struggling mentally or emotionally; analyze the role you play.

If you can see the roles others are playing it may very well save you pain in the future or deepen a friendship. In any case it will make you more aware of how to treat situations by the role you consciously take rather than simply react to their role. This can be a valuable asset.
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So many people join chat forums and start their own blogs so it puzzles me why so few bother to comment on blogs that are already going.

Look at the blogs you visit and note how few comments there are. Did you know you can get a training and make your name on someone elses blog? Just have your say about the topic and make it more than one or two sentences. You can start a whole new section that will be yours if you want it.

We get things done in life by colaborating with each other. Say something to me and I'll publish it. I'll promote your blog if it is of value to my readers. I'll help if you are sell something. Get in touch. http://iqadult.blogspot.com
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IQTeens is up and running now so if you know a teenager or have raised young adults or have advice for teens ( other than "grow up!") get on board.

The free book for a sign-up is still available. So far I've only sent out six! It's all explained two blogs ago.

Learn something new today,
Jay Ross.

God or chemistry?

The original Hippies were embracing the essence of Christianity. “Make love, not war,” isn’t really different to “love thy enemy”. Instead of fighting the cops, it was good to give them a flower. This was Gandhi, Jesus, Mother Teresa, philosophy with a novel twist. The idea of today’s open source PC programs and freeware came from the same attitude.

When the ignorant pleasure seekers got in on the idea of unrestricted drug use and “make love” became “have sex” it was ruined. The ‘weekend hippies’ had a new participatory entertainment. The establishment, when they weren’t making money from it, (Hippy kits were being sold.) became frightened about the social revolution. The times were indeed a-changing. Something had to be done.

The real Hippies had moved out to the collective farms. So many of those who stayed, debased the original idea with sex, drugs, pounding heartbeat ‘music’ and gave Hedonism a new meaning.

But something else emerged; the psychedelic drugs that mimicked the effects of meditation. They gave many people a new and lasting awareness of their inner Self. It was spiritual without being religious in the common sense.

My question here is;

If chemicals like LSD, psilocybin and mescaline can awaken areas of the brain in such a way, what is the nature of the experience?

Are we and our thoughts merely products of chemistry?

Is what we call “Reality” only an outcome of what we ingest?

It’s not a new idea. But now it’s no longer only in the realm of philosophy or laboratory.

Alcohol changes our mood and even personality in many cases. Several natural drugs stimulate our pleasure centers. Genes carry traits and hereditary factors that not only control our bodies but also our minds.

Food substances have an effect for good or bad on our thinking and bodily functions.

Cannabis stimulates appetite and calm awareness with time slowdown.

We are dependent on water and food to live. We need these chemicals to survive.

Now look at techniques aimed at ‘enlightenment’ used in religions. The swirling of the Dervish, the constant beat of drums and dancing, chanting, are all designed to attain trance states that have surrendered the everyday ‘self’. This surrendering of the ‘self’ leaves you open to suggestion. You’ll now accept the ‘message’ whether it’s political or religious.

Modern day evangelists use group psychology and powerful emotional displays to persuade people to lose the ‘self’ in the group. The mass singing, grand buildings, repetitive mottos (Praise the Lord! – Allah is great, Hare Krishna, etc.), replace individual thought.

Ritual and robes give it authenticity and historic legitimacy too. All this is to make you open to suggestion.

Techniques of manipulating beliefs are many. The bad cop/good cop system still works and people have been subjected to so much pressure that they ‘confess’ to a crime they did not commit. But for more serious conversions, stripping the individual of ‘self’ is the first step. This can be in the form of torture, deprivation of sleep, food, hygiene, rights, status, etc. It’s a matter of creating a problem and then offering a solution.

Unfortunately the vast majority of people are too distracted by day to day living to see they are being manipulated. They are filled with sport, celebrity, mindless TV and earning a living. This is intentional.

If you thoroughly convince someone they are sinners and offer the solution to being redeemed, saved; it is the same technique as deprivation of self belief. If you put fear into the mind, increase suggestibility and offer a solution they will accept it. This fear could be of burning for eternity in hell (itself a construction), threats to security or lifestyle (personal, loved ones, home, homeland), or being rejected by peers for any reason (status, bad breath, fashion).

Repetition reinforces the instilled belief.

Religion and spirituality are different in so many ways. Were we taught when we were young and unable to question the information? This is why children born to adults of a particular faith become adults of that faith.

If American Christians grew up in Iran or India they’d be Moslem or Hindu.

Did we get the belief in a highly emotional state, after the death of a loved one, facing our own death or at a time of great stress, suggestibility?

If so, you can see that the belief was induced.

But then people have worshiped sun gods, tree gods, ancestors, snakes, spacemen, and devils with the firm belief that their religion was the only true religion. They have even died defending these beliefs.

So it is easy to instill a belief.

But there is another way that beliefs alter. The chemical way is faster and more permanent.

At this stage I must warn you that irresponsible use of drugs without preparation and experienced guidance could completely stuff up your life. You may end up in an asylum.

The purpose of this issue is to raise questions about the nature of our beliefs.

The fact that we are profoundly influenced by chemicals is incontestable.

The fact that some synthetic and natural substances can give rise to profound religious feelings and convictions must challenge the validity of such beliefs.

When a cherished, secure, ‘fight to the death’ belief can be altered by a chemical action I wonder at the worthiness of the original belief and the second, replacement belief.

The chemicals’ effects are also dependent on external stimuli. The same amount given to the same person under different settings and expectations will cause vastly different reactions.

The ‘bad trip’ can be set up or happen because of bad organization, environment or company. The spiritual or insightful voyage is the same, open to suggestion and influence. So what are we to trust?

There is no ‘outside reference’. How can there be?

Tryptamines (LSD, psilocybin, etc.) and phenethylamines (mescaline, etc.) seem to be a quick way to gain insight if directed properly. Mescaline has long been used by Mexican Indians for spiritual enlightenment. There is careful preparation and supervision during the experience.

Back in the sixties a properly planned trip included ‘ground control’ (an experienced guide who stayed ‘straight’) and a safe natural environment.

Meditation involves guidance and a lot of work on your self; always a difficult thing to do without instruction. But those who attain this profound state KNOW it is real.

Mario Beauregard of the University of Montreal put 15 nuns through functional magnetic resonance imaging ( continuous two minute brain scans) while they relived “intense union with God” experience.

He and others have found the prefrontal cortex, right anterior insula, parietal and temporal lobes and a few other minor spots are all involved in some way with profound spiritual states.

It’s not yet a simple case of stimulating these areas electrically or chemically. It is a complex arrangement but like the first aircraft; it will some day be possible. The psychedelic drugs have already shown us that. What does this say about spiritual and religious beliefs?

Curiously there are various views on this. One side says it shows there is no God, only brain functions; another says here is the door to a higher state of evolution and the nuns said that this is proof of how God speaks to us.

Have the Buddhists got something in saying this is all an illusion, a state we are trapped in?

An interesting article on these experiments can be found here http://www.sciam.com/search/index.cfm?q=searching+for+god+in+the+brain&submit.x=21&submit.y=7&submit=submit

I want to know what you think. iqadult@gmail.com or the comment button below.

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©. Jay Ross.

Meditation ummmm

Hello folks,

There is an important message at the end of this segment. But let's get on with the job.

Meditation has been mentioned a few times on this blog. Most people think of it as a quick way to relax during their hectic lifestyle. While it does fulfill this function, that is not real meditation.

If you practiced true meditation, you wouldn’t need to find ways to relax.

Yoga and meditation became widely known to the western world in the 1960s via the Hippy movement. Alternative religions and lifestyles came to be considered. The use of valuable psychotropic substances like LSD left the realm of psychiatry to enter the real world. And it was quickly discovered that they gave intimations of states of mind only fully available through deep meditation.

By that is meant, they opened the doors of perception to the real Self as opposed to the temporary ‘self’ that we think we are. The ‘self’ is something we have just like the physical body. The Self, with upper case S, is eternal and constant.

If you think meditating is sitting down with a whisky and letting uncontrolled thoughts rampage through your non-disciplined mind, you’ve been mislead. Concentration is essential to clear the muddy waters so you can see without the distortion.

The object is to concentrate awareness on a particular theme or subject so that you become part of it. In the process you lose your ‘self’ to the subject. You become mind-less, beyond words and ideas, and experience unrestrained Consciousness.

A Mantra http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mantra is a sound that is repeated often to aid concentration. The favored sound for beginners is “Aum” or “Om”. It represents the eternal or ultimate and is also the sound this planet makes. Users of LSD in natural settings like beside forest streams or Rocky Mountain highs know the sound as a huge choir somewhere over the horizon.

This is by no means advocating illegal use of these substances. It is to understand the historical setting and it returns later in this article.

A mantra can be anything from your own name to the Deity you believe in or a concept like ‘love’. Whatever it is, you need to be guided through concentration first. It is useless to think that meditation is just a way to have a pleasant interlude letting the mind drift aimlessly. Go have a nap. It will do just as good.

The Mandala http://www.google.com.au/search?client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla%3Aen-GB%3Aofficial&channel=s&hl=en&q=mandala&meta=&btnG=Google+Search is a visual aid to do the same thing. You can combine them.

“Yoga” means ‘union’. Naturally the greatest desirable union would be with the Supreme Being; whatever you understand as that. So meditation is of use to all and any religion. It is of great help in understanding yourself, your motives, fears, passions, needs and mental or emotional conflicts because it surpasses them. They become insignificant in the light of the greater awareness.

There are so many techniques but all involve stilling the mind of thought so that you become empty. It’s not an easy task. The idea is to become, not think.

When you relax thoughts run through your head. You either don’t bother with some of them or dwell on some that you are concerned with, and let others carry you into interconnecting areas of total irrelevance. This has to stop.

All these thoughts have to be marshaled into a stream and let flow away from you. Sink below the stream where thoughts can’t enter. The mind must remain free of thought. You must get rid of brain and mind, to achieve a state of ‘essence’ of simply “being”.

You must take off your clothes to put on new clothes and so your mind must be empty to be filled with a new understanding.
This freeing of the mind is difficult for some people. They think they won’t have control and may do some psychological harm but it is exactly the opposite. The Christian Bible says to give your burden to Christ. The very act of letting go is healthy. That mental release flows to your physical body too.

You’ll find anguish disappears and some habits like over-eating (caused by a mental problem) taking the same path. As you continue, more changes will occur.

Surface benefits include sound sleep, less stress, greater self confidence, greater self respect, more understanding of, and therefore empathy with other people, a realization of wholeness and unity with life.

You will find that God is not some anthropomorphic bearded gentleman watching each of us from a throne in some mystical paradise. Only the briefest realization of the union of your Self and God/the universe/supreme consciousness/universal force/the eternal ‘IS’ will change you for the better.

You can tell if someone has been there. They are calm. They have a quiet knowing that sees where you are in your development. They also see what you can become. If you see this in a person, you are on the road too.

There are books galore about meditation techniques. You really don’t have to sit in an uncomfortable lotus position. Sit upright with a ‘straight’ spine. Breathe in deeply through the nose, filling the whole lungs, hold, and forcefully blow out through the mouth. Do this three times.

Concentrate on your single word mantra until you merge with it. Stay there in conscious no thought awareness.

It’s that simple and that difficult.

There are many variations in ways to meditate because there are many types of people. Many paths, one heaven.

If you want something thorough, two books by Mouni Sadhu are recommended – “Concentration” and “Meditation”.

There are many free courses around. Here is one you should investigate. http://meditation.org.au/

I’ll have to save that link to LSD ‘till next week.

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SUGAR and WELLBEING.

As consumers of roughly 160 pounds of sugar per person annually, according to recent reports, we need to be asking what the cost of our consumption is on our bodies and our health. Whether it's the sugar in what we eat or drink, and this includes the lattes, juices, sodas, and some alcoholic beverages-we owe it to ourselves to understand that sugar is making us fat and disrupting our body organs. Another more subtle but equally detrimental effect is sugar's action on the brain.

For many of us, sugar has an addictive pull that rivals cigarette smoking or heroin addiction. It may seem a bit outrageous to compare our sugar love affair to these drug addictions-I mean, doesn't just about everyone on the planet eat the stuff? Hasn't it been around-well, practically forever? If that's your brain talking, read on even if you don't have a weight challenge, because you'll add years to your life by becoming educated on the topic. And while it takes more than knowledge to change one's habits, the tragic truth is that most people never learn the facts or the solutions to food challenges they could otherwise overcome.

The first step to getting a handle on your sugar habit is to take a look at the science of sugar and its effect inside your body. But before we take a look at what happens when we eat this non-food called processed sugar, let's talk about the law of sugar, which many of you have experienced first hand.

What happens when we consume it? For most people, it sets off a craving for more sugar. This is the law of sugar in action. There are very few of us who haven't felt the urge for more cookies or chocolate, after just having one. I have met a few individuals who don't eat sweets at all and generally these folks fall into three categories. They've either gotten a handle on their sugar consumption and avoid it entirely or they never had an issue with it in the first place. Other people consume alcoholic beverages regularly and get their daily sugar from that source. It makes sense: most recovered alcoholics will tell you they discovered a significant sweet tooth after they got off the alcohol. That's because many alcoholic beverages already contain a high sugar content.

Now, why exactly does eating sugar trigger a strong desire for more sweets or calories? Eating sugar triggers the release of opiates in the brain. Opiates are chemicals which make you feel good. For anyone who isn't sure what opiates are, understand that they are the in the same class of drugs as heroin or morphine. Eating sugar will also begin a cycle of craving or compulsion for more of the same feeling that was caused by the release of the opiates. You may not "get high" the way you would with a powerful narcotic, but that doesn't mean it doesn't impact your mood or your brain.

Sugar consumption has been linked to challenges such as depression, CFS, ADD and ADHD, PMS, as well as overall poorer cognitive functioning. Most of us know about sugar's link to diabetes, but have you considered its possible connection to cancer as well? What if excessive sugar consumption was indirectly causing something as frightening as cancer? If it were possible, would you take the risk?

It's not surprising that we have such a terrible rise in obesity over the past twenty years when we have manufactured sugars like high fructose corn syrup being put into so much of our food. HFCS is literally manufactured in a laboratory to be much sweeter than natural sugar.

If you have ever heard the term "sugar blues," all you need to know is that your blood sugar and your health will rise and fall like the Roman Empire if you eat like a king when it comes to sugar. Sugar's effect inside our bloodstream is even more straightforward: when we eat or drink sugar our blood sugar goes up, our insulin goes up, and we throw that metabolic switch that says store body fat. Meanwhile, as we get fatter we continue to overtax the pancreas and develop insulin sensitivity, which leads into diabetes. The picture being painted is not so pretty, is it?

Here's something amazing: even thinking about a sweet food we love can trigger a chemical response in our brains to eat it. Essentially, the chemical response and memory trace which eating sugar creates inside our brains urges us to go back for more. Meanwhile, that false sense of comfort we achieved from eating our sweets keeps us returning to the source over and over again and we form the insidious habit of associating comfort with food.

This "comfort" food is anything but friendly to our health.

The truth is that most of us avoid thinking about the harm sugar or similarly damaging high-carbohydrate diets are causing to our bodies. We do this because of the pleasure it gives us. It's even more pronounced when we use it as a reward or as a release from our busy, stressed-out lives. Sugar does make us feel better for a brief while, perhaps. But nearly all of us have at one time or another experienced the downside that comes with the crash, even if we didn't know what was going on exactly inside of us to make us crash. The ultimate tragedy is that while we might acknowledge that we have a sugar challenge-some of us might even be self-proclaimed addicts-we also tend to feel powerless to do anything about it.

But we're not entirely powerless. If more people looked at sugar's opiate triggering power and treated it like an addiction, doesn't it stand to reason that they'd have a better chance at overcoming their sugar habit? Yes, ignorance is bliss. But this kind of ignorance is literally destroying our health and the health of our children.

Commit to yourself now that you will continue to educate yourself on both the problem and the solution. Books on sugar abound, so the good news is that there is an in-depth solution you can read up on further if you're serious about overcoming sugar addiction. If you're serious about kicking the habit, consider working with a naturopath or health coach. A great way to kick off your new resolve is to embark on a low-glycemic diet, especially if you can join a group that is doing it together.

Just be aware that if you take up the challenge, you'll have to step out of your comfort zone for awhile. For awhile, you'll miss it like an old friend who has moved away, but like anything else, you'll get used to it. And I promise you, once you experience the wonderful clarity of mind and feel the natural energy your body provides without sugar's artificial high, you will never want to go back.

Maria Calidonna is a weight management coach and writer who lives in Westchester County New York. She is married with five children and in training for the 2009 Track and Field World Master's Championships in Finland. You can visit Maria's product website at http://www.marketamerica.com/bodyandmind and order your Low Glycemic Transitions Weight Management Kit and other related health supplements and products. She also invites you to visit her weight management coaching blog at http://www.mariacalidonna.com Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Maria_Bleasdale-calidonna

It’s nice to have somebody else write my issue this time. It won’t become a habit but with Christmas feasting coming up this is a timely reminder. When you look at those sweets remember what they can do to you, and your children.

All the best for the holiday season. Take this time to reflect on what you have achieved this year and plan for what you want to achieve in 2008.

Where do you want to be when 2009 is looming? This year can change your life.

All of us have some aspect of life we would like to change so take some quiet time to sort things through and write down goals.

Do it any way you want but make subheadings of actions you will take. Divide these into further do-able strategies.

Above all, be practical about your time scale and actually DO work toward your goals.

It may sound like a lot of thinking but planning is essential to goal achievement. If you only do some of them you’ll be better off.

NEWS. I’ve got an ebook out! It deals with a proven strategy to overcome psychological addictions like smoking, over-eating, gambling etc. It does deal with alcohol too but AA already uses part of this method.

I say “proven strategy” because it is just that. It does work.

Price is just $5.00. How many cigarettes or spins on the slots can you get for that?

Just email IQAdult@gmail.com and I’ll send details.

Visit or recommend IQChildren.blogspot.com to someone. The most recent issue is about the Santa lie.

Stay safe,
Jay Ross.

(c) Permission to republish these issues may only be an email away. Ask me.

A CLEAR MIND

Look for the Special Offer at the bottom of the page.
Hello again.

We broached this topic once before but I thought it might need elaboration. Both study time and work time need to be broken in a way that refreshes the mind. Many people know about having a break and yet they push on without it in some martyr fashion or don’t do it properly.

It’s not only the small breaks that are necessary, we need larger breaks to get the big picture of where we are. It’s usually called a holiday. But then Sir Richard Branson is (in his own word) “fortunate” in having an attitude that spawned wealth and a life style that doesn’t need a holiday. Life is one long happy ride.

Let’s have a look at both of these.

If you went to work eight hours a day, seven days a week you’d be running low on ideas and enthusiasm. You’d be stale. As an employer I wouldn’t get the freshness needed in an employee. You’d go home grumpy, yell at the kids, kick the dog and have an argument with your partner. You’d be doing this because of not having time alone to rest or encounter something new.

We all need outside stimulation.

If you arrived at work one day and your boss said to fix up any urgent work quickly because we are all going to the beach or a theme park for the day, you would probably think he was nuts. But when it hit you he was serious how quickly would you get through the next job? You’d get through it without a gripe or hitch or stop. You’d work flat out to get the job done.

How much more enthusiasm would you take home and bring to work the next day?

I wonder if there is a boss out there who does this. It would be great for morale.

Working alone or studying needs to take you places to keep your mind fresh. Take a pad and biro but don’t try to get ideas or draft sentences, just go and let the mind free to enjoy new surroundings. Don’t go to the same park or coffee shop or quiet spot you usually go to.

Do something different. That’s the whole idea of having a break. Get on the river ferry and go somewhere you haven’t been or take a train ride to ten suburbs away.

This is a mental holiday wherever you go as long as it is out of the ordinary.

If there is some reason why this can’t be done then you have your own perfect mental health Eden inside your head. Just like ‘Second Life’ but without the cost or fear of being attacked you can create a rejuvenation mini world nobody else can enter.

Here’s how. Just sit back and relax with a straight back. Take a few deep breaths through your nose, hold and exhale quickly through your mouth driving out all the air you can.

These breaths should alternatively fill your lungs as full as possible and then empty them as much as possible.

Then sit and picture as vividly as possible a totally relaxing place. It may be a forest glen, a deserted beach, a hillside overlooking a green valley or sitting in a boat on a placid lake at sunrise. What color is the sky; light or dark blue or streaked with sunlit clouds? Maybe it’s the colors of sunset or sunrise.

It’s your place. Try to imagine that place now. It doesn’t matter if you change it later but it is good to go with your first choice at this stage so you get the hang of it..

Now become totally aware of how you feel. You feel at one with your surroundings. This is where you can relax. Feel the soft breeze on your face and body; notice the temperature and the scent of the place. Is there freshly mown grass or the aroma of flowers blooming? Maybe you can smell the ocean breeze or crispness of the mountain air.

Do you hear any sounds, like crickets or bird calls? Maybe there is a waterfall nearby and you hear its water cascading over the mossy rocks to a pool below. Can you hear that celestial choir over the horizon? Maybe you can hear the silence.

What are you dressed in? Are you barefoot or in comfortable soft shoes? Loosen any tight clothing. If you have long hair, let it flow.

Touch the elements in your surroundings. Feel the hardness or softness of them. Let the sand run through your fingers or roll in the grass and look at the clouds as they pass slowly.

Walk a while and taste the delicious fruit nectar or drink the crystal water. Wipe the sweet smelling herb on your arm. Are there butterflies? Can you see that little animal watching you? Do you want to say “Hello” and pat it? There is nothing here that can hurt you. This is your place.

Gaze at the pastel shades of the plants and marvel at the crimson of others.

Relax like you have not relaxed before. You can always relax here and the more times you come here, the more you will be able to relax.

Take a few breaths to get back to the jobs at hand.

As you become more familiar with this place you will be able to go to it whenever you want to rejuvenate. Nobody can take this from you. The only secret you need is to DO it.

Now let’s look at Sir Richard Branson. He has obviously got a fertile mind interested in a whole range of topics. That very fact is what makes his life a joy to live.

He would be bored to distraction watching TV. A regular job would offer nothing to stimulate his mind. So why do so many people kill their lives by accepting monotonous, dead end occupations?

Maybe it’s fear of loss or of success; ignorance of what they could achieve; just plain dumb ignorance; laziness; childhood teaching; apathy or inability to think beyond their immediate world. Who knows?

Several facts stand out. Branson is not interested in what Mrs. Jones next door is doing. He has a wide view of the world. He has his own life. He looks at what he does as an opportunity not a chore. He analyses situations. He has faith in his judgment. He makes decisions and he DOES something about it.

It is a fact that less than 5% of people will actually do something to achieve any major lasting improvement in their life.

If you got the magic words “Open Sesame” there is only a 3-4% chance that you would bother going to the cave. Ask yourself why.

Branson’s first venture into the aircraft business came about when he realized it was cheaper to hire a plane to get to his destination than pay for a ticket. He simply filled the plane with paying customers and made a profit.

Here is a very short summary of his life http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/3693588.stm

His attitude is positive and he finds joy in newness. His self confidence is rampant but with a good deal of research behind it.

He will follow an idea no matter how silly it may be just to see where it could lead. He will give it a try, after all what can happen? We all started with nothing.

If he lost all his money he would make more to replace it.

How does his attitude differ from yours? He is willing to try! If you do nothing you will get nothing. It is simply a matter of mind. You probably will make mistakes. We all do at some time but the trick is to anticipate them.

His break from work is the challenge of the new; the freshness of a new venture. He stimulates his mind with further challenges..

You may not be able to start a Virgin Galactic but you can start a home business or tune a hobby to be financially rewarding. Try to make an extra $5 per day for the next month. Start tomorrow and mark the calendar. If you don’t get it find out why and try again.

Try for ten dollars per day when you have got it right.

If you can make five or ten per day; can you repeat the idea to make ten or twenty per day?

There is a need for volunteers in so many groups in your area. Helping can change your life. You can make a difference and be rewarded with new friendships.

Anything you can do to refresh the mind is going to help you. It provides an increasing confidence, happier nature, better mental and physical health and expands your interests.

We could talk about epinephrine, alpha waves, biofeedback or meditation but these are all available on the net so if you have a particular curiosity type them in.

For any artists wanting to start a project Your Eden is a great place to put you in the mood.

*****

Thanks for the comment about the previous issue, Evan.
Click on Evan’s blog about acupuncture at the bottom of that issue.

http://iqchildren.blogspot.com is only a click away. Call in.

Want your blog mentioned? Make a comment. I'll be glad to include you.

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Bye for now,

Jay Ross.

BODY HEALTH FOR MENTAL WELLBEING.

Your physical health is important to your mental health. You can’t operate as well mentally when you are sick or tired or in distress. But just as important are exercise, cleanliness, proper breathing, eating correctly, clear blood flow and freedom from mind numbing drugs.

Here is a quick run down of a few things we should consider to help our body so our minds work better.

You have one of the greatest inventions ever in your bathroom – soap. Simply washing your hands after being in contact with anything that may harm your body internally should be as routine as balance when walking. I shared a house once with a cook who didn’t wash his hands after sitting on the toilet. He is dead now; not surprisingly after all the problems he had.

Wash hands after gardening. You wouldn’t eat potting mix so get it off your hands before touching anything that may go into your mouth.

Changing diapers requires the same thing; so does handling poisons like insecticides or herbicides, petrol or cleaning fluids. Use sense.

Use your own towel after washing or, after touching dangerous material and washing, use a disposable rag. Have your own bathroom satchel with hair brush, razor, toothbrush etc. Bad bacteria can be greatly reduced simply by washing with common soap. It is the front line attack.

Bacteria build in your body and the bad ones cause illness that is often treated with antibiotics. But bacteria are becoming resistant to antibiotics. One reason is that people don’t take the full course prescribed. So the bacteria become immunized instead of eradicated and they can pass this on (via DNA bundles called ‘plasmids’) to other bacteria and viruses, helping them to become stronger. We get ‘Super bugs’.

If you have been prescribed antibiotics; take the full course.

Getting sick in the first place is largely your fault. Wait a minute – I said “largely” not “always”. Taking pills for every ailment that you think may be happening to you can cause illness. Start getting away from pills and into a healthier lifestyle.

You don’t have to join a gym to exercise. Do a few pushups at home. Leg raising or sit-ups, squats and stretches are the same. Lift a couple of bricks ten times sideways away from the body, then in front once or twice a day. Walk up and down stairs more often. Old people have trouble with their legs. Prevent it. Go fast walking and later jogging once a day. It all builds till you notice a difference and then you feel encouraged to keep going. That’s the point to get to. From there it takes on a life of its own. You’ve broken that “start barrier”.

Most people don’t know how to eat – seriously. Shoveling food into a mouth and swallowing it is NOT eating. Chew the stuff. Chew it over and over so that saliva fills your mouth and the food is reduced to almost nothing. Savor the flavors. You’ll discover different tastes you didn’t know were there. The saliva is essential for digestion and you’ll need less food because you won’t be overloading the stomach. Less food properly digested means more nutrition and less fat.

In general, water and fruit clean the body; vegetables build the body. But you also need protein which is available from various plants but we mainly get it from animal meat. I won’t go into the vegetarian debate here. Suffice to say eat much more fruit and vegetables; better still grow some of your own. It’s easy, they don’t have poisons and they taste better. Anybody can grow tomatoes, capsicum, beans etc. All you need is a sunny window or small plot of ground. A dwarf Orange tree is a great decorator idea.

Fasting is going without food to clean the body. “Break-fast” is the morning meal after not eating overnight. When you fast longer than overnight your body eventually starts using the poisons in your body for fuel. That’s why you can feel week or not in top form. You may develop bad breath or feel headachy. It’s because the rubbish is being put into your blood stream to flush out.

After fasting about three days your body starts using the fat reserves for fuel and generally you feel better. Water or diluted fruit juice helps the process. Do not drink alcohol.

Consult your doctor about fasting. A seven day fast every three or four months usually does a great deal of good for the body. Avoid heavy exercise but do not just sit. The idea is to get rid of baggage so do light exercise to turn fat into body toning.

When finishing a fast, start with a light meal of vegetables. Gradually increase this to eating a proper meal but not the type that gave you a reason to fast in the first place. From here start to eat with regard to what you eat.

Breathing fresh air and breathing it to full benefit is a lost ability for many. The bigger the city you live in and the closer to the ground you are have a great deal to do with the quality of air. Carbon monoxide kills. So do other pollutants that your body has to live with.

Breathe through your nose! Keep your mouth shut is often good advice and particularly when it comes to breathing. Sit and walk upright. Slouching diminishes the amount of oxygen getting to your lungs and causes stale air to stay. This opens the gate for infection. Every so often lift your chest up and breathe in deeply (nose), hold it and quickly blow (mouth) as much air out of your lungs as possible. Do this about five times. Try it right now.

Go to the beach or mountains or countryside every so often. It’s not only good for your physical health; it’s good for your mental outlook.

How many people live in a state of permanent sedation? Popping mild sedatives can become a lifestyle habit. It dulls your mind, preventing your dealing with problems. It enables others to take advantage of you.

Do not use drugs that diminish your thinking capacity. Be wary of all drugs including medications. Type their name into a search engine and learn about them. It’s your one and only body you’re playing with so know what you are doing.

Escapism is not the way to cope. Party drugs supplied by strangers can contain substances that kill brain cells or induce psychological states that are not easy to cope with. These can tip the balance in a person who is already unstable or having problems. You need only look at what people have done on alcohol to see lives destroyed.

I think it was an American president who said, “I tried whiskey once and liked it so much I never had it again.” There is wisdom.

What has your nose got to do with bad breath?

All of our close social contacts can be adversely affected by bad breath. In intimate encounters it can be disastrous.

Mucus from your nose can run down the back of your throat and settle on the back of the tongue. It can stay there for days. So keep your nose clear. This is just one factor in the world wide concern that confronts us every so often. Other causes are dental problems, tonsils, food scraps in the mouth and various medical conditions. But bad oral hygiene can create medical conditions that affect the rest of the body.

What happens? Bacteria munch away on dead cells like mucus and food scraps and at the end of the feast they have sulphur and nitrogen gases that stink. Unlike body odor which can appeal or disgust, bad breath always turns people off. It is the odor of faeces or decayed meat.

What can we do about it? Use your toothbrush often and have dental problems fixed. (Dentists don’t use a pair of pliers and a foot on your chest any more.) Use a mouthwash before going to bed to be effective overnight. When using a mouthwash stick your tongue out and gargle so you get to the back of the mouth where the main problem lies. By the way; those mouthwashes that sting do not mean they are more effective. It’s just that people think they are. A disinfectant does not have to smell like ammonia to kill germs.

Don’t use mouthwash after toothpaste because you’ll diminish the effect.

We’ll have a quick rundown of other matters another time.

Comments are welcome and you can contact me at iqadult@gmail.com

Check IQChildren if you have children and if you think you may have something to say in the upcoming IQTeens please get in touch.

Be good to each other.

Jay Ross.

(c) 2007

Tags. Health, Wellbeing.

SEX , LAW, REALITY.

Recently, here in Australia a young man was awarded damages after he alleged he was molested by a Scout master when the boy was 14 y.o. He and four other men are saying the same thing.

He said he suffered mental and emotional trauma ever since and described various nasty events in his life that he maintained were an outcome of this molestation.

OK, these things happen and we have to address them.

What got me interested was the fact he was awarded well over one million dollars in compensation.

I’ll cut to the bottom line. I think this is encouragement to accuse any older male who some guy has a gripe with or even someone he knows is gay and it is a sure fire way to set himself up for life.

He can own a home and invest enough to live comfortably till his dying days. It’s a very good business and it can all be done in about six months.

Teenagers face all sorts of challengers in those developmental years. Suicide rates among teens are high. Read some of the morose and frightening stuff they write in forums.

Sexuality and puberty can cause massive upheavals.

The stealing and vandalism stage sets in. They push every boundary to test it. Alcohol and drugs offer their invitations and peer group pressures take hold.

A lot of them do get into trouble.

Boys will get erections anywhere; on a buss, in a parade, walking along a street, just sitting or playing with the dog.

Testosterone driven boys will stick their new found manhood anywhere that might feel good. They experiment. It’s all part of growing up.

Now there are two types of adult male who can take advantage of this.

The first is the type who provides an alternative to masturbation. He is usually family or a family friend, therefore trusted. His role is an extension of an older brother model. If you think brothers don’t experiment then you are wrong. It depends on the years between them; more years, less interaction.

But this relationship, which happens to involve sex, is generally a stabilizing factor in growing up. When the boy discovers girls the relationship usually dissolves but they remain friends.

The other type is the predator who coerces and takes over the master/slave role. He uses fear to keep hold of his prey. This guy is sick and needs help. This is the guy who beats people and has an insecurity problem.

He or she (it’s common for women to do this but less than men. Women use a slightly different method) uses the ‘partner’ as an owned object to do their bidding like a trained dog.

This is the personality regardless of sexual orientation that beats his partner and kids and is cruel to animals.

He usually puts on the face of exactly the opposite, being friendly and kissing babies. Any relationship based on fear or insecurity is destined for disaster.

A youngster in such a situation will be scarred emotionally and grow up to repeat it if he does not get psychiatric help. I can’t see how giving him a million dollars will stop him from carrying the mentality of a future abuser.

I can see other men saying that father O’Leary or Scout Master Smith or any prominent, well moneyed male who would fit the profile, forced me to have unwanted sex with him all those years ago when I was 14. Therefore the traumas I have faced in these turbulent years are because of him.

(He is the reason I take these tripy, er I mean medication and why my marriage to that slu..er beloved wife broke up and why I’m too laz..er can’t hold a job and…Yes, I know I’m making fun of it now)

But it has been happening with women for ages. Notice how few paternity cases there are now that DNA testing is here.

Molestation is difficult to prove. It usually relies on others agreeing to the same facts or story. These men knew each other for years.

Quite frankly if I didn’t have any scruples, I would spend a week or two getting my story straight for a million dollars.

Throw in a few tears and a good deal of indignant anger and maybe some rewritten lines from an obscure movie and you’ve got your last payday. Just hold the “yippee” till you get back home.

This is by no means support for any abuser but if this enticement to wealth continues the system is wide open for abuse.

**Men are usually the ‘baddies’ in the teacher/ student relationships but in recent years women have been put in jail for having affairs with male students. I used to think like most people; that the guy was getting his good times by taking unfair advantage of the girl. But when women got into the picture I reconsidered.

I would have loved to have been shown the ropes by a mature aged woman.

It would have made me much more mature. Heaven knows at that age a guy can handle the physical side of things with flying colors. It’s all that painfully slow growing up that hurts.

Establishing such a relationship would have kept me off the streets with the lads on Friday and Saturday nights seeking alcohol and girls who would drop their knickers if we filled them with cheap bubbly.

The aimless “nothing to do” vandalism would disappear.

The age of maturity comes in here too. Girls mature before boys. Some boys mature physically at 12, others at 18. Emotional maturity is anywhere. Many adults are not emotionally mature.

I don’t think adults should go so far as having sexual relationships with teens but it is obvious that a more complete open relationship is beneficial.

Parents should be more like big brother/ big sister than law makers and authority figures.

Find out more about what is happening in the young world today. Asking them questions not only informs you but brings both of you closer to mutual respect.

**Here’s another case that can stimulate discussion. Recently “60 Minutes” TV told the story of a boy in a forum or chat room on his PC who was offered $50 if he took off his shirt while on camera.

He did and was paid the money. Soon there were many other offers of the same amount and the money duly paid.

Naturally this moved on to pants, undies and eventually masturbation for the camera. All this while collecting lots of money. Hundreds of thousands of dollars in fact. $?00,000!

He got all this money for doing what he would normally do in private but he had the camera on.

He was still in his room, untouched, unafraid, able to stop any time, safe, with no ‘manager’ to pay and laughing all the way to the Pay Pal account.

He was exploiting people who got their thrills watching what they needed for stimulus to pleasure their selves.

This is the same thing as strip shows or exotic dancers or full Monty male shows only going the extra distance. He could do that because he was safe from harm.

You could say he prostituted himself but nobody touched him.

Where did the money go? Did he blow it all on good times when he should have invested in rental property? Or he could have started several high yield businesses while honing his entrepreneur skills. He could have been set for life with a start like that.

Now what about the people who paid him?

What is society doing to create people who need to pay to see this? Shouldn’t we be more open and less Victorian or Puritan?

If we keep looking at porn we get bored with it. There’s only so much can be done with the body. When you’ve seen enough, you’re done. It’s gone. Keep hiding it and we want to seek it out.

Your views on these issues are welcome. Click the ‘comment’ at the bottom and have your say.

Understanding breeds love.

Jay Ross.

Check IQChildren while you’re in the neighborhood.

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